Jesus the Vampire's Landing Spot

By Wolf Jackal, Senior Correspondent, AP News JACKAL: (Taking a seat at the candidate’s residence) “Good afternoon, Mr. Biden.”   BIDEN: (Looking about, seated in a recliner) “What? Who?”   JACKAL: “Who hell, get with it Biden. What are you – a fucking owl or something?”   BIDEN: (Focusing on Jackal) “Uh, no.”   JILL BIDEN: (Walking in) “Joe, the nice man Mr. Jackal is here to interview you regarding the upcoming election.”   BIDEN: “What election?” (Looking to his wife) “Doctor Jill, are you my nurse or my doctor?”   JILL BIDEN: “I’m your wife and a doctor – here – have some pills.” (She produced several from a small tablet container and handed them to her husband, who downed them with a gulp of bottled water)   JACKAL: “Mrs. Biden, you are not a physician, your Ph.D is in education.”   JILL BIDEN: “Well I never – …”   BIDEN: “Shut up Neilia; I’m coming back online now – those new pills are some kind of ...

These will never go down like David Frost's interviews of Richard Nixon, but I figure they're good for a few laughs. Wolf Jackal, always the professional, simply gives Joseph Biden enough rope to hang himself. REMEMBER KIDS: Joseph Biden puts the "dem" in dementia!  Please feel free to post what you like, as long as it is tasteful...

NEWSFLASH! JOSEPH BIDEN – NOW EVEN MORE DEMENTED THAN HE WAS LAST WEEK! By Wolf Jackal, AP News, 4 July 2020 In an incredible interview Friday afternoon, an incoherent, at times drooling creature that claimed to be Joseph Biden confronted this reporter with some of the most idiotic, foul mouthed, epithet strewn responses I have ever had the misfortune to hear. Here is a transcript of his ridiculous remarks, verbatim: BIDEN: “Hello, uh Fox Mulder, I’m Joe Biden, husband of Joseph Biden. He’s running for the Senate, you know.” JACKAL: “Fox Mulder is a fictional character from the X-Files, and YOU are Joseph Biden, sir!” BIDEN: “I am, huh? You learn something new every day.” He started staring at an overhead fan, his jaw dropping. A fly landed on his cheek, then walked across an open eye and flew away. JACKAL: (Wincing at the sight while waving a hand in front of Biden’s face) “Yes, you are Joseph Biden, and my name is Wolf Jackal. Hello?” BIDEN: (Returning t...

This interview with correspondent Wolf Jackal was conducted today at an undisclosed location, due to the Corona virus or something... 30 APRIL 2020 (AP) JACKAL: “Good afternoon, from all of us at Associated Press, we thank you very much for taking the time from your busy schedule to grant this interview, Mr. Biden.” BIDEN: “My pleasure, Fox, good morning to you.” JACKAL: “That’s Wolf, and it's 2:30 in the afternoon.” BIDEN: “Oh yeah, Wolf, that’s right, morning, afternoon, whatever. You know, wolves are related to dogs – and foxes. They’re called canines – coyotes are too.” JACKAL: “Yes, I know that sir, so are hyenas. Getting to the point, Mr Biden, what have you to say regarding the allegations against you regarding Tara Reade?” BIDEN: “First and foreskin, I mean foremost, this uh, lying Tara woman is really out of line in left field when she said I tried to finger her. I always sniff them first, their hair that is, not their crotches – say do you rem...

BIDEN'S INCOHERENT RAMBLINGS AND IDIOTIC GAFFES - IS HE DEMENTED, OR JUST PLAIN STUPID? -- by Wolf Jackal, AP News 7 April 2020 (AP) The rapidly deteriorating mental condition of presidential candidate Joseph Biden became even more apparent today when he was heard blurting out obscenities and afterward adding an incoherent string of words that defy anyone's comprehension.  Having left a restroom at a DNC office, a piece of toilet paper stuck to the heel of his shoe, Biden, apparently unaware that he was on camera, said, "God damn - I had to piss like a racehorse and the fucking sink in the toilet isn't working, so I had to wash my hands in the commode!" Frowning, he looked to the assemblage of reporters and added, "Oh shit, strike that!" Then, noticing his fly was open, he shrugged and zipped it up. Most complied with his request, excepting for this reporter, who had a digital recording device hidden in my sport jacket. "You are an uncou...

NEWSFLASH! UGLY KATHY GRIFFIN ALLEGEDLY CONTRACTS WUHAN VIRUS - WILL HER HIDEOUS LOOKING FACE BE ENOUGH TO BATTLE THE AFFLICTION? - By Wolf Jackal, Associated Press 26 March 2020 (AP) Ridiculously unfunny, disgustingly obnoxious and thoroughly unattractive "comedian", 59 year old bag Kathy Griffin, has apparently diagnosed HERSELF with the Chinese Wuhan coronavirus, and is said to have been admitted to a "major hospital" sometime within the past few days. It is also said that she blames Donald Trump for her alleged affliction, and is vowing revenge against the President.  This information comes courtesy of her latest publicist, a male prostitute Griffin has hired from Skid Row, Alex "Buff" Hedstrom. Her last publicist, Nancy Rosen, quit, having endured years of abuse from the "comedian", and called Griffin "a complete and utter asshole that is obsessed with Donald Trump the way that nut John Hinckley was obsessed with goddamn Jodie F...