NEWSFLASH! JOSEPH BIDEN – NOW EVEN MORE DEMENTED THAN HE WAS LAST WEEK!
NEWSFLASH! JOSEPH BIDEN – NOW EVEN MORE DEMENTED THAN HE WAS
LAST WEEK!
By Wolf Jackal, AP News, 4 July 2020
In an incredible interview Friday afternoon, an incoherent,
at times drooling creature that claimed to be Joseph Biden confronted this
reporter with some of the most idiotic, foul mouthed, epithet strewn responses
I have ever had the misfortune to hear. Here is a transcript of his ridiculous
remarks, verbatim:
BIDEN: “Hello, uh Fox Mulder, I’m Joe Biden, husband of
Joseph Biden. He’s running for the Senate, you know.”
JACKAL: “Fox Mulder is a fictional character from the
X-Files, and YOU are Joseph Biden, sir!”
BIDEN: “I am, huh? You learn something new every day.” He
started staring at an overhead fan, his jaw dropping. A fly landed on his
cheek, then walked across an open eye and flew away.
JACKAL: (Wincing at the sight while waving a hand in front
of Biden’s face) “Yes, you are Joseph Biden, and my name is Wolf Jackal.
Hello?”
BIDEN: (Returning to reality) “Hello to you! Hmm - that’s
very interesting – but you’re not Wolf Mulder, you’re that bearded Fox News
Hound guy from the CNN show – or that Jackal guy, I mean.”
JACKAL: (Clearly disgusted) “Yes, I’m Wolf Jackal, employed
by AP News – can you keep that small fact in your short term memory long enough
for me to ask you a question?”
BIDEN: “Aye aye, Captain!” He smiled and gave a clumsy
salute with his left hand, drool coming from a corner of his mouth, wetting the
slacks he was wearing. “It’s raining goddamnit!” he exclaimed, wiping spittle
from a leg of his slacks.
JACKAL: “No, Mr. Biden, we are inside of your home, you’re
drooling on your pants.”
BIDEN: “Fuck, I pissed them last week, right here in this
damn chair, Fox, it’s a good thing – oh hell!” He paused, seeming to realize
what he was relating for a short moment. “You know,” he mumbled, pointing to
his crotch, “I’ve got the prostrate thing down in my balls – it’s clogged up my
– ”
JACKAL: “You mean prostate.”
BIDEN: “Yeah, and sometimes I have to piss like a racehorse
and all I do is hold my dick, and hardly anything comes out like a goddamn
busted garden hose.” He spat on the parquet floor, false teeth nearly coming
out of his mouth. “These motherfucking things!” he mumbled, shoving them back
into his face like the drawer of a cash register. “I should’ve got implants,
but I got these goddamned choppers cheap from some fucking Jew dentist in DC a
while back.” He pointed to his mouth with a jerk of his thumb.
JACKAL: “I’ve never heard anyone swear so much in so short a
time – do you suffer from Tourettes?”
BIDEN: “No, I support a woman’s right to vote, and I plan to
tour the nation to promote that idea.” Taking a deep breath and composing
himself, he said, “Next question?”
JACKAL: “I haven’t asked you any political questions yet,
Mr. Biden. I suppose the most pressing question is this: Who is on your short
list for the VP position?”
BIDEN: “You know Fox, that is a damn good question.” He
stared into space for several moments, blinked, then leaned to one side and
farted loudly. Fanning his crotch, he blurted, “Diane Pelosi, that’s who!”
JACKAL: (Revolted at the stench) “Who?”
BIDEN: “Who hell Mulder, are you a fucking owl or
something?” He looked to his crotch. “You know, it’s a wonder I didn’t shit
myself! I like the smell of my farts, how about you?”
JACKAL: “No, but I think you are in serious trouble, Mr.
Biden, as you strike me as totally senile. There is no such person as ‘Diane
Pelosi’ - at least not one on the political stage. You are confusing two
different people.”
BIDEN: “Oh yeah, well I’m not senile, and I’ll prove it to
you! Diana Schumer’s that fucking beady eyed kike bitch from out west, and
Natalie Pelosi’s the wop broad from Virginia or somewhere, right? Isn’t that
cunt Alyssa Milano a Senator too? Forget it - fuck all three of them, I’ll just
use Pocahontas.”
(The former vice-president was becoming more confused, and
clearly upset)
JACKAL: “You mean Elizabeth Warren; Donald Trump calls her
Pocahontas.”
BIDEN: “Yeah, her, and fuck that prick Trump, you know – the
thing. Have you seen that injun bitch – I would have poked her horny hontas
around twenty years ago – and I’ll bet my ass she would have fucked me, you
know. At least she’s not that nigger whore Mandela Harris that the fuckin’
media keeps saying I’m going to pick for uh – you know my uh, shit. And don’t
you go telling that bitch wife of mine that I wanted to fuck other women – I
can’t get it up anymore anyway. Hell, Jill stopped blowing me years ago ‘cause
it took her so damn long to get me off that her jaws hurt – do you believe it?”
JACKAL: “Yes I believe it, all of this is very revealing; I
thank you very much, Mr. Biden.”
(End of interview)
REPORTER’S NOTE: Can you believe they are fielding this demented asshole for president? He belongs in a padded cell, not the Oval
Office. Can you imagine such a feckless moron with the nuclear codes? I figure
they’ll hurl his dumb, mindless ass and try Hillary again – that’s all they’ve got left.
