Black Churches Mosh to Slayer When White People Aren't Watching

By DISQUS -

 First, I'll apologize to the black community for going in "Blackface," but let's be honest--it was the only way I could get to the truth. I'd heard tales that black churches change things up for white people, but behave totally different when white people aren't watching. So, I put on the blackface, bought some pants that hang off my ass, donned a giant afro wig, bought some tasteful pennyloafers at Florsheim, stepped into my white Christian family-values pussmobile, and headed off to the BLACKEST church in Harlem. Honestly, this place was so black that Malcom X and Louis Farrakhan would have to billboard their puckered assholes at the door--which is how they authenticate blackness for some reason, and don't ask me to explain it, because I have no fuckin idea.

Anyway, everything seemed normal up until the choir took over, they all looked around to make sure whitey wasn't watching, and HOLY SHIT! I couldn't believe my fuckin ears!


THIS IS WHAT I SAW!




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