NEWSFLASH! WICKED WITCH HILLARY DECIDES TO RUN AGAIN; SAYS THIRD TRY WILL BE THE CHARMER!
13 November 2019 (AP)
By Wolf Jackal, Senior Correspondent, AP News.
In a not unexpected move, everyone's favorite wicked witch, Hillary Rodham Clinton, has again decided to throw her pointed hat in the ring, much to the dismay of child molester Joseph Biden and Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren, not to mention senile communist Bernard Sanders and cocksucking whore Kamala Harris.
All four Democrat presidential contenders were sitting in a DNC conference room in northern Virginia when news of the wicked witch's plans were released to the media.
"That fucking evil bitch Hillary cost me the last election," Bernard Sanders complained, looking to a TV monitor displaying his nemesis, his face grimacing with a look as if he needed to pass gas.
"That's bullshit Bernie," said Joseph Biden with the tact of a D-9 bulldozer, "You are just an old Trotskyite has-been who couldn't be elected president if you ran a thousand times."
Sanders looked to the floor, Biden's words ringing bitterly true.
"Both of you are has-beens," observed Pocahontas Warren, to which Biden retorted sharply, "At least I'm not a never was like you are, you phony Indian cunt! You and that sallow mullattress slut sitting here haven't a snowball's chance in hell of achieving the presidency!"
"As if you do; at least I'm not a goddamned child sniffing, feel 'em up pedophile like you are, Mister Plugs!" Kamala Harris exclaimed, Elizabeth Warren nodding in agreement with her.
"No, you're just a common whore with a taste for chocolate boners," said a thick-skinned Biden with a sardonic smile, dismissing her remark with the wave of a hand. "Speak where you were fucked the last bitch - and if you fart you're a liar!"
Harris grew silent, her eyes narrowed in anger, knowing that if she spoke her mouth would betray her as the voracious cocksucker that she was.
Looking into her crystal ball, wicked witch Hillary smiled and said, "It's delightful to watch those fools fighting amongst themselves." She motioned over lesbian lover Huma Abedin to bring her another bottle of Smirnoff vodka from a case of six sitting on the floor. Hillary's philandering husband Bill, wearing reading glasses, was sitting in an easy chair nearby, occupied ogling his latest issue of Playboy magazine.
Opening the bottle and taking a deep slug, she then wiped her mouth on a sleeve and said, "It's too goddamned bad that I can't have that bastard Trump bumped off - his fucking security measures are better than they have at Fort Knox."
Insatiable, horny whoremonger Bill Clinton looked up and remarked to his wife, "I love it when you start scheming again Hillary, it reminds me of the old days at the White House when Monica was sucking me off. You know, I think it would be a good idea if you let me watch the next time you and Huma do each other!"
"In your dreams, you voyeuristic pig, and what does that have to do with the matter at hand?" spat Huma.
"Speaking of hands, you could give me a hand with this Huma," Bill replied, breaking into laughter while pointing to a bulge in his pants. "Looks like I've pitched me a pup tent - will y'all help me unload some excess baggage?"
"Fuck you!" exclaimed Huma.
"Sure thing baby - when?" asked Bill, "You have a killer body, why waste it on that ugly old dyke of a wife of mine? Give me some of that Muslim strange - you still have a clit down there, don't you?"
Huma stared at the sexually depraved, perverted man, her jaw visibly dropping.
Hillary, not caring in the least of what Bill thought of her, looked at her perverted, pedophilic husband in exasperated disgust. "All you ever think about is your goddamn penis."
"What else is there to think about?" asked Bill, leering at Huma and winking, she frowning at him.
"I don't know - how about winning a fucking election, you obsessed priapic freak?" retorted Hillary.
Bill chuckled and said, "Hell, if your earlier attempts at winning presidential elections are any indication of the future, I'd say your next campaign will be DOA for sure!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence you vicious bastard," said Hillary, taking another slug from the bottle.
"Anytime," said Bill, returning to his magazine.
By Wolf Jackal, Senior Correspondent, AP News.
In a not unexpected move, everyone's favorite wicked witch, Hillary Rodham Clinton, has again decided to throw her pointed hat in the ring, much to the dismay of child molester Joseph Biden and Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren, not to mention senile communist Bernard Sanders and cocksucking whore Kamala Harris.
All four Democrat presidential contenders were sitting in a DNC conference room in northern Virginia when news of the wicked witch's plans were released to the media.
"That fucking evil bitch Hillary cost me the last election," Bernard Sanders complained, looking to a TV monitor displaying his nemesis, his face grimacing with a look as if he needed to pass gas.
"That's bullshit Bernie," said Joseph Biden with the tact of a D-9 bulldozer, "You are just an old Trotskyite has-been who couldn't be elected president if you ran a thousand times."
Sanders looked to the floor, Biden's words ringing bitterly true.
"Both of you are has-beens," observed Pocahontas Warren, to which Biden retorted sharply, "At least I'm not a never was like you are, you phony Indian cunt! You and that sallow mullattress slut sitting here haven't a snowball's chance in hell of achieving the presidency!"
"As if you do; at least I'm not a goddamned child sniffing, feel 'em up pedophile like you are, Mister Plugs!" Kamala Harris exclaimed, Elizabeth Warren nodding in agreement with her.
"No, you're just a common whore with a taste for chocolate boners," said a thick-skinned Biden with a sardonic smile, dismissing her remark with the wave of a hand. "Speak where you were fucked the last bitch - and if you fart you're a liar!"
Harris grew silent, her eyes narrowed in anger, knowing that if she spoke her mouth would betray her as the voracious cocksucker that she was.
Looking into her crystal ball, wicked witch Hillary smiled and said, "It's delightful to watch those fools fighting amongst themselves." She motioned over lesbian lover Huma Abedin to bring her another bottle of Smirnoff vodka from a case of six sitting on the floor. Hillary's philandering husband Bill, wearing reading glasses, was sitting in an easy chair nearby, occupied ogling his latest issue of Playboy magazine.
Opening the bottle and taking a deep slug, she then wiped her mouth on a sleeve and said, "It's too goddamned bad that I can't have that bastard Trump bumped off - his fucking security measures are better than they have at Fort Knox."
Insatiable, horny whoremonger Bill Clinton looked up and remarked to his wife, "I love it when you start scheming again Hillary, it reminds me of the old days at the White House when Monica was sucking me off. You know, I think it would be a good idea if you let me watch the next time you and Huma do each other!"
"In your dreams, you voyeuristic pig, and what does that have to do with the matter at hand?" spat Huma.
"Speaking of hands, you could give me a hand with this Huma," Bill replied, breaking into laughter while pointing to a bulge in his pants. "Looks like I've pitched me a pup tent - will y'all help me unload some excess baggage?"
"Fuck you!" exclaimed Huma.
"Sure thing baby - when?" asked Bill, "You have a killer body, why waste it on that ugly old dyke of a wife of mine? Give me some of that Muslim strange - you still have a clit down there, don't you?"
Huma stared at the sexually depraved, perverted man, her jaw visibly dropping.
Hillary, not caring in the least of what Bill thought of her, looked at her perverted, pedophilic husband in exasperated disgust. "All you ever think about is your goddamn penis."
"What else is there to think about?" asked Bill, leering at Huma and winking, she frowning at him.
"I don't know - how about winning a fucking election, you obsessed priapic freak?" retorted Hillary.
Bill chuckled and said, "Hell, if your earlier attempts at winning presidential elections are any indication of the future, I'd say your next campaign will be DOA for sure!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence you vicious bastard," said Hillary, taking another slug from the bottle.
"Anytime," said Bill, returning to his magazine.
